Emily and I struggled last year....I yelled a lot and got frustrated. She was beat down and tired. I was disappointed and guilty and she was sad and exasperated....it wasn't like this all the time and I don't think any major damage has been done. But it was hard and I would go to bed at night thinking about how I had treated her and what the heck was wrong with me. For the most part, I think that what I knew in my heart were suppose to be our priorities, weren't getting accomplished...that made me feel bad and guilty and so I pushed and pushed to the point of breaking her spirit at times...Also, I was plain tired. I now have figured myself out....at about 2 pm in the afternoon, I crash...mentally and physically and if I don't get some kind of break or mental time out even for just 20 minutes...I get ugly. This was terrible because right when Emily got home last year....at 3pm....I was at my breaking point...She never got the best of me.
Things have drastically changed! I actually feel like a good mom. I dont' have that guilt when I go to bed. I don't have to feel guilty for needing a mental time out in the afternoon because she has had the best of me all morning long. Emily is happier, she is relaxed, she is enjoying life, we like being around each other....she talks to me about all kinds of things..she is helpful without me asking...she wants to please, she volunteers to do little things like carry a bag, or put Molly's shoes on without me asking....she notices when someone in the family needs help, I want to hold her, read to her, kiss her...things are just so much better! I like the fact that she has me during the day when I am full of energy and patience....
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