My Favorite Four Plus One!

My heart belongs to these beautiful people~

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Joy Project

Why do I find it so hard to be joyful most days...you know throughout the day to day.  I am sure, am sure, am sure God has me as John's wife, my children's mother, a mama-teacher, a christian friend, a nurse, a sister, a daughter for his purpose and for the purpose of glorifying him but do I smile about it every hour...every day even?  Do I thank God for his plan even though I don't understand?  Do I give God my worries, my distress, my irritations?  Do I thank him for having food to feed my kids or do I whine that I have to feed them for the 4th time today?  Do I find joy and laughter and thanks in the little things like having to wash Molly's hands for the 100th time today?  No, I don't....I wonder somedays if all my kids have seen is a frown....

Do I sound depressed yet? I think some of it is that my oldest is at that critical point...I see my bad choices, my tone, my behavior, my worries, my sin, my critical spirit looking back at me...No, I don't think I've damaged her BUT I do think that these days are numbered...the days of being able to put in her what I know God wants me to and see the blessing and not the burden...and I mess up SO much!  How LONG do I have to figure out how to live a life full of joy.....So my kids can have memories of a mom that smiles, listens long, laughs, enjoys the days?  It is hard and I guess as the saying goes, anything worth doing is hard work.....and so I continue.  As I was talking to a friend last Monday (we talk deep and long about life each monday) about so many Christian teens leaving their faith, even ones that were homeschooled and "perfect from the outside looking in" kinds of kids, we discussed that we are doing it "right" in all the tangible ways we can think of....John and I have a good marriage, we show affection towards one another, we pray as a family, we attend church, we "shelter" our children, we read the Bible, we have our own quiet times, we sing, we go to Sunday School, we serve, we volunteer, we teach Bible Studies....but here's the kicker...do we love abundantly, especially to those right in this house....do we have JOY and LOVE on a daily basis.  I will be honest...lately I've been a real grump...so again, HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE A LIFE FULL OF JOY?  How long do I have to learn how to give grace to my husband and children because He gives me SO much grace?  I told John the other day, "I just want to do it all right" and my dear husband said, "it isn't suppose to be easy...it's not going to be, you can count on that!"  And it reminded me of this song that the kids and I sing around here a lot lately....."All I know is that I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong, take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong!"  We are not promised easy or perfect...it will be difficult and the JOY is knowing that this is not my home!  So while I'm here on this earth, living in an imperfect world, with imperfect people, an imperfect husband, imperfect children, and living with my guilt and sorriness of an imperect self....the only thing to do is look UP and ask daily for God to give me GRACE, LOVE, JOY, HUMBLENESS to deal with the issues that suck joy out of my life on a daily basis.  I desire with all my heart for my kids to see their mom smile, for lessons to be learned with Grace and Humility, I want my home to be a place of peace and love and comfort.  I want us to live together in this home with JOY that can only come from the LORD! 

My friend and I are reading a book called The Happiness Project.  It has prompted me to take on my own sort of project...called the JOY PROJECT.  I'm not sure exactly what is going to look like but I know that I want to concentrate on the things within and not the "perfect on the outside" things...I will go to God daily to ask for His help.  I will confess my sin hourly if I have to and go to my husband and children to ask for forgiveness.  I will make a list of the silly things and big things that suck joy out of my day, I will pray over these things, ask God if it is something I can change or just put into his hands, I will make a gratitude list.  I will enter into HIS courts through the gates of thanksgiving (psalm 100:4) and pray that I find fullness of Joy (psalm 16:11).  I will be writing about different stages of my Joy Project because it is therapeutic and I've read so much on blogs, in books, in the Bible, etc that is feels good to put it all together on paper.  I will practice love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, joy, peace, and self control.  On the top of my list is to EVERYDAY ask God for these things...second on my list is to give that nagging list of joy snatchers to God...put it in his lap if you will....and thirdly, not yell.  1 Kings 19:12 "And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.  And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper."  I want to be the gentle whisper of this house....when there is disobedience, frustration, and tension...the quiet whisper....

So here's to a new day and the first day of April.....The JOY PROJECT!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Archimedes and the Door to Science...

O.K. I seriously did not know anything about Archimedes...and had NO idea he did so much for the human race's understanding and foundation into mathematics and science...from the pulley system to measurement to geometry to astronomy to weights to physics...seriously, he was a BAD dude :)  This month's book club book was a biography on Archimedes....The kids and I thoroughly enjoyed the book...Daddy even got into it and helped explain things like the pulley system and the screwdriver technique...machines and mechanical advantage....I don't think the kids will ever forget who invented the pulley and how Archimedes figured out how to get water from the Nile River up on land during the drought season without having to carrying it with buckets....I like the fact that when we discussed how he was a greek philosopher and liked to argue points that they broke out in song..."Greek Philosophers, Nehimiah and the Jewish Return, Alexander the Great......" which is part of the timeline they have memorized for their Classical Conversations work...so they were able to put his life on their mental timeline!!!!  They also realized that we have a pulley in our backyard and a pulley that works our camper top.  Emily also understands how Geometry is helpful in art...curved lines, angle lines, basic lines, circles, etc.....all things she uses when she does her art!  John Daniel thought it was awesome how Archimedes invented so many war machines and when it came time to use them, he had to teach everyone how to work them...even caught ships on fire using the sun and a huge mirror!  And how he helped King Heiro figure out that a goldsmith had cheated him and put silver in the Golden Crown and disguised it be solid gold and look Gold...all by weights and measurements!  It really was interesting!  Below are pictures from our book club meeting...Mr. P did a visual lesson on the pulley system and our friends dressed up as Archimedes and an interviewer!





Secret Keeper Girl

Emily and I and some of our best friends went to a Secret Keeper Live Event in Valdosta GA.....what is a Secret Keepr Girl you might ask....Well, she is lots of things! A Secret Keeper Girl values modesty, she surrounds herself with wise friends and she embraces Godly beauty. So, she keeps the deepest secrets of her beauty for just one man. But she also knows that she can share all of her heart secrets with her mom at any time. The coolest thing for you to know is that a Secret Keeper Girl is a masterpiece created by God.

We discussed labels that we (as women) put on ourselves...how God doesn't see us as those labels...we are his princesses and he is he KING (Revelation)! 


Our sweet friends!

We also learned about modesty and how to use the "Truth or Bare" test to test whether we are dressing modestly enough...why would we want to show our inner most beauty to every stranger or acquaintance or anyone for that matter that is not the love of our life!  The whole program was fun, energetic (lots of little girls screaming), prayerful, scripture filled and modeled what we are already talking about in our home.  Fun Times!

Happy 90th!


My beloved grandfather turned 90 on March 8th...the kids and I took him and my grandmother to chick-fil-a that morning .....we also made him a crown to wear.  Chick-fil-a gave him free breakfast and we all ate together....I can't think of a better way to celebrate him!  This coming up weekend, the whole family is getting together along with some of his friends to throw him a big party!  Also of note, my grandmother and him are about to celebrate their 72 year Anniversary on April 8th!!!!!!  Wowza!!!  They are so special to me! 

Mother Son Bowling..


I won!  I beat a bunch of other moms and all the kids!  That's my one and only time I will ever be able to say this! 

making stoves and pots

I love my husband for so many reasons...one being that he loves to try new things, make things, take things apart, and build things.....his newest project is making his OWN pots and alcohol stoves for his 5 day hike on the Apalachian Trail coming up in May.  I guess the stoves to rehydrate food are pretty expensive and he learned on YouTube that you can very easily make your own using aluminum bottles/cans (ie cat food cans, soup cans, deoderant spray cans, beer cans, etc)...he sands them down, uses a special can opener to cut the lid just so, cuts and glues, pokes holes and then he has a stove....and not just one...over the past three weeks, he has probably made 20!!!!!  He times the amount of time it takes the water inside to boil, how long it takes the alcohol to burn off, etc.  He is trying to build the perfect one.  Cool thing is....they are super lightweight, and apparently that is the KEY in taking stuff on your back as you backpack!  John Daniel has loved watching all of his daddy's creations!





Organic Chemist

Organic Chemists from FSU came and did a 1 hour demo at our co-op because we are studying chemistry right now....I learned the boiling point for iron!  Wowza!!!!  They did all kinds of experiments that dealt with mixing chemicals, color changes, explosions, melting and freezing things....The kids were so into it!  J.D. is now doing his science experiment on Acids and Bases because of what he saw! 
above John Daniel is helping....

These were some really smart college students!

Elephant toothpaste



 Putting fresh flowers in liquid nitrogen

 Making ice cream

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Thoughts

I love life....I love how one minute I have it all figured out and the next I am a witch and unhappy with all my circumstances....I love God more and how EVERY DAY HE teaches me something....I know I've been posting a lot about just what we have been doing but I actually have a bunch swirling around in my brain about the details of life, why we love what we are doing, why we get frustrated, all the cool things we are learning, etc.  This is going to be a very random post...probably would look a lot like my thought process if you could get inside my brain and type it all out......

I absolutely LOVE homeschooling....but it isn't a moment by moment happiness.  I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt this is what we are suppose to be doing.  A recent author that I'm reading said something about parenting....she said it is a "fog happiness"....you aren't necessarily happy every moment but it is a glaze or a fog of happiness.  You wouldn't do it differently, or change a thing....but it doesn't always necessarily look happy in the very moment...it's more like a haze of happiness when you think about it.  This is true of homeschooling.  Hearing other mothers complain about hours of homework, the mundane science projects that they cannot wait to get through with, FCAT testing, hours in their kid's classes cutting out shamrocks, school field trips with 30 kids that are not their own, making lunches every day of the week at 6:15 in the morning, having their kids at school 8 hours a day, ordering cakes for Beta Club Inductions, etc....I Wouldn't trade it for a thing......there are frustrations but it is our own darn mess and it is our own decision to change it and make it better....none of my plans that I started 2 years ago are the same and I feel like sometimes there is always some better way to do what I'm doing but we are doing it for OUR OWN children in our own home and it is "fog happiness!" .....all the way! 

Things I love:

I absolutely love that Emily got interested in sink holes when we went camping at Falling Waters State Park and that she decided on her own that she wanted to do a science project on Sink Holes...I love that her Daddy decided to take the kids down to the Leon Sinks and do hands on research while I was at work.  It took them on a 3 mile hike...Emily took a TON of pictures on her own camera that she will use with her project.

I love that J.D. got so excited at our co-op when the Organic Chemists from FSU came to explode things, mix chemicals, and do experiments that he now wants to do his science experiment on Acids and Bases.....and we found a really cool science kit to use at Barnes and Nobles.

I love that when Emily was listening to a verbal presentation by a peer in our Co-op on General Lee's (Civil War) contribution to America that she leaned over to me in excitement and said, "Mommy, we went to General Lee's home place in Arlington Cemetery in Virginia." 

I love that when John Daniel's Tutor in Co-op started talking about the battle of Little Big Horn and the Indian Crazy Horse that J.D. raised his hand and told them some info on Crazy Horse because we have been reading a biography at home for our book club about Crazy Horse!

I love that they both have memorized John 1:1-7 in English and are now in the process of learning it in Latin and that sometimes I catch them singing John 1:1-7 in Latin around the house. 

I love the connections that they make and that I get to be a part of it.  I love that when we were doing our Quiet Time the other day...the kids and I read through Proverbs for QT that when it said in Proverbs 3:3 "Do not let Kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart" J.D. got all excited and said....that is just like the verse in Deuteronomy!  He was speaking of his Daddy's favorite passage, Duet 6: 8-9 "You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

I love that we can sit in the yard and do our work, I love that Molly prays for Baby David (our friend's baby) EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I love that we can drop everything and go take books to some kids that are as fortunate as us.  I love that we can go watch Red Hills Horse Trials if we want.  I love that my kids have NO idea who some of the latest movie stars are....I love that they watched Grapes of Wrath and know what the dust bowl is.  I love that we all had a family meeting tonight and talked out some issues....and everyone went around and discussed what our own PIP would be for the week (Personal Improvement Plan)....I love that when I get home from my Work Bible Study, my kids rush to the door to ask if it went well and what the women said about what I taught.  I love that we can take my 90 year old grandfather to breakfast for his birthday. 

There are certainly things I don't like.....the constant reflection of who I am as a mother...my sins and failures are laid out in front of me as clear as day in my children or in how our day goes.....the mess I feel like my house is always in, not having much "me" time, constant sound, my brain on full throttle all day long.....BUT I then think about my end result....it's not a perfect house, a perfect me, ME time, painted toes and a new haircut, etc....it's to raise children who are fully devoted followers of Christ....for the spiral to move upwards...for them to be on "fire" for God, to give them a "HIGHER" education that concerns itself with kingdom results...LOVE and Sacrifice.  It is a struggle and I miss the mark so many times that I'm tired of myself....and wonder at times that it would be so much easier to just give in and do it the World's Way....But my very wise husband said, "There is Joy in this Journey....God's way brings JOY that you won't ever experience in doing it any other way."  Aren't doing things the right way almost always harder....and he is right, so much sweeter although on a daily basis, I don't always acknowledge it.  Recently, I had that "me" time that I spoke of earlier....I went to dinner with 6 other women my age and peer group.  We were without kids and husbands at a nice restaurant.  After listening to them for 30 minutes, I could hardly bite my tongue any longer....I ate my meal so fast so that I would not speak.  I finally had to text my husband under the table just to vent.  I could hardly sit there listening to them speak of dropping their babies off at daycare at 6:30 am, bigger houses, kid's ball and how it is making their life crazy, FCAT, needing childcare for summer for their kids, marriage problems, new clothes, etc......I immediately asked God to humble me...because I was struggling with wanting to tell them how crazy it all sounded...and I have had to ask God for discernment and humility again and again this week....but here is what I have learned from it so far, #1...girl time ain't all that!  #2...be thankful for my circumstances, the ability to choose, and the vision God has given John and I thus far in our walk.  Another wise comment from my husband during our under the table texting conversation as I sat at the table with the other women....."Just be thankful for where God has us!" 

So that's all for right now~I've been a real witch the past couple of weeks...kind of moody and just "off" but lessons are always learned and His mercies are new every morning....

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Emily~my 10 year old

Emily turned 10 and I can hardly believe it!  She is so precious and so beautiful inside and out.  I'm soooooo thankful for this time with her as she becomes a young woman...it's one of the most precious times in her life and I get to be a part of it.  She is so pure and innocent and I want to protect that as long as possible...We are slowly introducing more mature age appropriate issues and concepts to her and once again I am so glad that I get to do it as her parent and do it in the protection of our home.  We had a very fun MONTH celebrating her birthday!  It started out with a camping trip where we shared in a birthday celebration with two of her best friends....and ended with her Nanny taking her clothes shopping just last week.  Pop Pop likes to kid her about how LONG she gets to celebrate!  I've saved pictures from the whol three weeks....I think she certainly felt special!

One of the greatest traditions that has kind of started is to celebrate birthdays while camping...this time it was February Birthdays...next time we go camping with these families it will be in June and we are already planning a birthday celebration!
Nothing like a built in birthday party when you have 14 kids with you camping!




Mommy and Daddy's present was a very nice bike with gears!

And a cute dress and jacket

Molly gave her sissy a purse which Emily loves!

The Birthday girl got a flower...her favorite...tulips

John Daniel gave Emily the movie Dolphin Tale


On the day of Emily's Birthday we all ran/walked the Tomato Trot 5K.  Emily wasn't super excited about this but made it through :)

Then we rode over to the fairgrounds and went to the Southeast Regional Pig FEST (I'm not so sure our priorities line up)



After the Pig fest we rested and met some of our good church friends at MoMo's for dinner and cupcakes!  We all were too full to even eat...


Cousins Angelee and Gavin are moving to South Korea to live with their Daddy finally who is serving in the military...and Granddad's 90th birthday and Emily's 10th Birthday happen to be very close to each other....so the Thornton Family celebrated/said goodbye with cake and candles and dinner together....

Family Movie Night at the church fell on Emily's Birthday so she got to spend the evening with her church family watching the movie Secretariat.
Emily got to pick her birthday dinner.  She chose Hurricane Grill with her Grandparents.  We all went the Thursday after her birthday to celebrate AGAIN!!!!!  Emily's grandparents were VERY generous...Nee Naw and Pop Pop gave her the Ballet Workshop at FSU for her gift, a locket, and a jewelry hanger.  Nanny and Papa gave her new ballet shoes, new jazz shoes, tights, money, and a nice spring wardrobe!



And a small sleepover with her besties.....they watched movies, did Karaoke, dressed up, did hair and nails, ate pizza and cake, and had fun!  I love these girls so much.   I started getting really sick while they were here and they were so kind and sweet!  I hope these are friends for a very long time!



silly girls!  They played fashion show and "The Voice" from TV. 



Shopping trip with Nanny....they did very good!


Happy Happy Birthday to our sweet Emily!  Love you all the way to Heaven!