Our Normal

We don't have cable and this morning we happen to come across some cartoons on ABC and the kids are totally mesmerized so I have a few minutes.  Things are going along as normal around here lately.  John works, kids and I do our thing.  I was having a hard time several weeks ago because the kids were bickering a lot and I started second guessing my choice to homeschool or for that matter being a mom at all.  I cannot stand the bickering...it drives me absolutely crazy!  John will agree....just plain crazy :)  He found me crying on the porch one day when he woke up....I was contemplating the thought of spending the rest of the day with my chickens in the yard and leaving the rest of the family to fend for themselves...

John did like any man would do, he tried to fix it, gave me some ideas of things to do, said that he fought with his sisters all the time and it was a fact of life and then told me that we needed to quit letting them get the best of us and stop complaining and move on....You gotta love my husband...he really dislikes complainers....he doesn't see the purpose in complaining about circumstances, etc....that's why our kids eat so well....he won't allow any negative talk about food on the dinner table...its one of the things I love and dislike about him.  He isn't great at letting me vent...and he knows all this and reads this blog by the way.  So I went and talked to two girlfriends and I felt so much better.  Ann and Harriet said that they too were questioning their desire to be mothers as well (just kidding) because of their children's bickering....and one of them helped me see that I needed to relax a little.  I get so overstressed about this house.  If it is dirty (and I don't even keep an immaculate house) then I am in a bad mood.  I start bossing everyone around.  I can't stand the stacks of paper, toys all over, miscellaneous nonsense laying around.  John's sleeping bag that cost an arm and a leg is suppose to be hung up and not smooshed inside a bag...well it was about to put me over the edge if I saw that thing laying around one more time....so we found a place to hang the prize possession (on a hanger behind the closet door)...and it is out of my site!!!!  Yay!!!  Its little things like that I let spin this place out of control....

My dear friend told me to in a sense lower my expectations a little, smile more, and adjust.  So since that time, I've changed a couple of things...

We have a new and improved chore system..I have decided that no chore system is long lived...its always changing and that is good because then the kids get reenergized about it and it makes for happier chore time  I can't, nor can John do all the chores around here.  I am praying more (duh).  I am trying to smile more.  And I have again started reading before bedtime.  This may not seem like a big deal but it is for me.  I am a "get in bed at 8" and Mommy is done kind of girl.  I get emotionally and mentally drained during the day to where reading or saying goodnights and snuggling is work sometimes....just being honest here!!!  But I picked up a book that was recommended to me by one of my dear friends and we are now doing read alouds...we read for about 30 minutes.  We are reading In Grandma's Attic.  Its great, I enjoy it, the kids are enjoying it, and it ends the day on a good note.  We are almost done with the book and last night even got a big chuckle out of one of the chapters and that was fun!  Its going to be part of our school....believe me...everything I do now...I document so I can prove to myself and the world that I am teaching my children something:)  My good friend also told me that I would "get over that" eventually as well.  I told John a couple of weeks ago that I am a great mom if we are out and about doing something.  My kids are well behaved, I would take them almost anywhere, they don't complain, etc but get all 5 in this house for over 2 hours with no real plans and it falls apart and honestly this really bothers me....We, as a family, have to be able to live peacefully in this house without falling apart...and its not because we have a small house...its a character thing!  I want our home to be a safe haven, a peaceful retreat and a place we all want to be!  I'm working on it!  I read another one of those dag-gum Pearl books on our way to Orlando last weekend and with tears in my eyes I was like ....UUGGHHHH!!!!  It hit home to say the least!  The chapters I read just so happen to be about my hurts and trials lately.  So I've hit the redo button and on we go, with a refreshed mission and outlook....Our NORMAL is hopefully a new NORMAL!