The arrow button

John Daniel has this video game ...it is a golf game and you set your man, get your club ready and use the arrow keys to go left or right to point the club right towards the hole...there are all these things that happen after you hit the ball....a bulldozer pulls out in front of it, another player hits the ball, etc....but the point is to use those keys to point that arrow/club straight towards the hole....as I was sitting there watching him the other day, and as I was walking today around our neighborhood talking to God, I was thinking about how I feel like I'm in the middle of that game......jumping on those buttons trying to point my arrow straight to the hole which in my case would represent God's will/plan for my life.  I think this is the first time in a very long time that I can say...my arrow is aiming straight for God...I desire to be in his plan/will...I've lined everything up, made some tough decisions, worked hard, prayed, run hard, and gotten rid of things to get that path pointed straight on.....but then there are those bulldozers and bumps and other people etc that get right in my path....and throw it off...some of those bumps I have even caused and some represent my failures BUT I can say that for the first time....I keep getting back up, brushing my knees off and trucking right a long and it feels good!  So many times, I've been jumping on those buttons only to point that arrow slightly to the left or the right of that hole...and it is soo frustrating.  Not that I don't have frustrating days....it has actually been a really hard month.  We are at that half way point of our first year of homeschooling and things are sooooo different than I expected, I've failed, Emily has failed, we have frustrations, Molly is a more difficult toddler than I've had, John Daniel is dealing with some selfishness issues, Emily is struggling with math so we are doing A LOT of math, I have more responsibilities, I have unmet expectations of myself BUT I have never felt so resilient...we fall but we get back up and I have to say that even the days that are really bad, that I feel like Emily may have learned more at school, I still have full confidence that we have made the right decision...I'm working less and I'm doing my job at home better, my spiritual life is growing more each day....I feel like I have a clarity that I didn't have before....As I walked around my neighborhood today, I was telling God that he is the only one that knows all the ideas, wants, desires, thoughts, and fears that crowd my mind....even my best friend and wonderful hubby can't fully understand all my feelings and ideas and thoughts concerning  my role as a mother, teacher, and wife...It is nice to know that there is someone that already knows my thoughts and concerns...I don't even have to physically tell Him.  I feel totally at rest with that fact....He is there to listen and knows...A song came on the radio today and Emily and I had a great talk about it....I may not be quoting it perfectly but it said, "Day after Day, He is reigning.  He is never shaken.  Time after time, He is faithful."   I love this!  I believe this!  I'm so relieved that the things of this world are a vapor and that there is A God who reigns and has a place prepared for us!