Who's number One?

I'm in a solemn mood today so forgive me if I am a little somber. In talking with some really good friends about marriage and husbands, I have stopped to think a lot about who is number one to me. To be quite honest, John, is number one is my book a lot of times. This doesn't sound so bad does it considering he is my husband but who is suppose to be number one...God. During times in our marriage, I have realized that I am hurt or sad because I have put my confidence, security, faith, and strength in John and not God. This, of course, will always cause problems because humans no matter how wonderful they are (I think my husband is pretty wonderful) will always let you down. During those times I have felt totally devastated and then I realize it is because my security amongst other things is shaken because I am not depending on the ONLY one that can provide that perfect security--the one True God! Don't get me wrong, John is amazing, he is a rock, he provides for us and makes me feel secure but he can't be perfect!

Yesterday, a dear friend and fellow church member lost her 45 year old husband to cancer. They have three beautiful children ages 1, 4, and 6. She is only 34. He has battled cancer for over two years now and this is not the only battle with it he has had. He, during the course of the past two years, accepted Christ as his Savior, baptized his own daughter, and lived his last 6 months as a hero in all of our minds as he battled this horrible disease in great pain. He won his battle yesterday as he entered into the wonderful hands of his Lord and Savior! I have thought about this friend and how she deals with this and what she must be going through. She has been so amazing through this and continues to be grateful for the miracles such as her husband becoming a believer through the disease. Now he is gone and she has to raise these three children on her own...how in the world....but I know she is depending on God to give her strength, peace, and comfort. God is her rock and not the man that is now gone.....this continues to make me think about who's number one in my life and am I really willing to give up everything to follow him!