I have been reading a book called "Parenting in the Pew" recommended by a friend that I go to church with. I have really liked the ideas in the book so far and they are fresh ideas that have inspired me to try Parenting in the Pew. First my soap box...so many parents (including myself at times) leave the spiritual awareness and teaching to others...whether it be the Sunday school teacher, the teacher at a Christian school, the youth leader, or children's minister. I do not want to do this!! I think children's church and Sunday School have their purpose but should not be relied on heavily. So many times, parents (including myself) drop their kids off to get two hours of alone time in the pew or have the kids sit in the pew with them only to give them a coloring book and tell them to be quiet. The later was me up until three weeks ago. I would give Emily the bulletin, coloring books, sticker books, etc to keep her busy. Then I started reading this book. She talks about how so many elementary children through college age kids drop out of church mentally at such a young age and then drop out physically due to (in her opinion) the parents lack of helping them learn how to worship and make worshiping "their own" and not something just their parents do. I was intrigued...you mean I can't sit there in the pew, John's arm wrapped around me, feeling all spiritual, and soak it all in for myself? This is the conclusion that I came to...God has loaned these children to me for a very short time..who else is going to invest in them and teach them like I would and need to...no one! I am only half way through the book but here are some of her thoughts.
1. You prepare for worship the day before...set out all your clothes, have them ironed, get the Bibles together and by the door, have a quick but nutritious breakfast planned, play some type of praise music or worship music while everyone is getting ready, have offering money, memory verses, Sunday school materials ready to walk out the door. Pray the night before and get the family in the mood and excited about the LORD'S DAY. Talk the Lord's Day up and make it the most important day of the week! We started this two weeks ago on the Sunday Molly was being dedicated. Sunday went so smoothly. No yelling, no whining. Wonderful!
2. Help your children worship by getting them to listen and pay attention. She says that parenting in the pew is going to take some quiet whispering in the pew. She said to try playing classical music in the car with the kids and ask them to picture what the music is saying. This helps and trains them to listen to different kinds of music. One idea that I loved was this...she said to have the child listen for a certain word during the music..like Jesus and God and every time they heard it, they should squeeze your hand. I had Emily do this this morning and it was great. I could tell she was listening to the words in the music, even the music the choir sang. She whispered to me once..."do lord and saviour count" and I said "YES!" She also speaks about having them picture a story from the Bible during a song without words like a prelude. I love that this can teach them to appreciate all kinds of music!
3. The next thing she speaks about is trying to hold back on handing the kids a coloring book. In getting them to listen, she speaks of giving them a notebook and having them write down something they hear from the sermon (or if they are too young to write, to draw a picture of something they hear). She also says to open up the Bible and read along and point with them to the words. So this morning, I told Emily to write down one thing that she heard Pastor Mark say. She seemed totally agreeable. She was listening so intently! I whispered to her that she didn't necessarily have to understand what he was saying .... just catch some words or phrases. She wrote down not only one thing but TEN once she got going! This is what she wrote down and how she spelled the words or phrases:
1. hope of heaven
2. phelowship
3. Heaven is God's Dwelling place
4. face to face
5. Joy
6. eternity
7. hope of heaven
8. truth
9. Reserrected
10. Future
If you couldn't tell, his message was on Heaven! Thank you God for showing me that my children can worship you in every way that is important and thank you for showing me that I can be used by you to teach them! Now the next hurdle is having two kids in the pew with me and doing this with both of them! Our church does do Children's church but not every Sunday. We most likely will let them go to Children's church some Sundays and then sit with us on the other Sundays. That is another point she makes...your children should always sit with you and not their friends no matter how old they get. I'm so happy my eyes have been opened to this method. John was always the one that wanted the kids in church with us but I just didn't get it. Now I do! I can't wait to read the rest of the book.
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