Today was my first day back at work since the birth of little Molly. I have always had mixed emotions about going back to work after the birth of my children. I waited a year before I went back after having Emily (mostly because I quit my job and it took me this long to find one) and then with the 2nd and 3rd I have waited about 7-8 weeks. Now when I say I went back to work today..it isn't as if I worked a nine hour day. I left at 9:45 and got home at 2:10. It was a four hour shift. I have to say that this job is a blessing. It totally fell in my lap. I put my application in at CHP not even knowing that there was such a thing as Urgent Care or working after business hours there. I got a call the day after and the nursing supervisor told me she would hire me and take any hours I could offer her. I made more per hour than at the hospital, it is so NOT stressful and I like the people I work with. So it isn't horrible going to work and I still get to pick my hours. I hand her in a list of hours I want to work every month. I work it around John's schedule so he is 95% of the time the one that takes care of the kids. I have no minimum or maximum number of hours that I have to work. So that said, I love my job and respect the company and people that I work for. It is still very hard to leave..I cried the entire way to work today. I have guilt over it for a little while but then when I pray about it and talk to others about it...I realize that my children are left with the only other person in this world that loves them as much as I do. You really cannot beat that. I guess I really don't have to work...John and I send the kids to private schools, take vacations, and eat out so if we didn't do all that I could stay at home but I have to say sometimes it is a nice mental break. I use my brain in a different manner, keep up really important skills that help others, and it also allows us to live a little more free with our money. It has also been a mission field where I have gotten to share my faith and family values. I will continue to work 4-5 hour shifts until Molly gets older and is spreading her feedings out longer. John usually only has to give her breast milk from a bottle one time during this time. When I got home today I jumped in the shower to get the germs off of me and then crawled in the bed with Molly (John had her asleep in our bed). We snuggled and she nursed and I told her I loved her.
Now for the super duper Daddy part...I left the house today with no worries. I cried just because it was an emotional event for me but I have no concerns when John is with the kids. I left and had to tell him NOTHING. The only thing he asked was the time of the last feeding that I gave her. He knows how to feed her, how to defrost milk, which bottle and nipple to use, how to change her, how to burp her, what to do when she is crying, how to put her to sleep, where all the essentials are etc. And this is not because I have made sure of this before I left...he is a natural at taking care of our kids. It doesn't faze him. He is very relaxed. He learns by being a part of routine things. He doesn't get frustrated. He isn't afraid of babies. Poop doesn't gross him out. He naturally just seems to know what to do and he has always been like this with our kids. I seriously think he is one of the best dads I know. Today he had John Daniel and Molly. Emily was at school. Besides just taking care of the baby, he made red jello with John Daniel, cleaned the kitchen AND bathed Molly. I didn't ask him to do any of this!!! He really is amazing and he didn't even call me at work to ask questions. We practiced yesterday with a bottle. He gave Molly a bottle and I pumped while he fed her. I think he really liked it. She just lay there in his arms looking up at him sucking on the bottle. He talked to her and loved on her. She also took a nap on his chest yesterday so I think they really bonded because today she was just smiling and cooing at him. I am super blessed to have such a awesome man that is a super duper dad to my kids.
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