My purpose right now

I know our spiritual walks take many turns...ups and downs and bends and curves. I have been in the valleys and at the peaks where my walk is concerned. About a year and a half ago I was doing an inductive study of some of the books of the Bible. We did Philippians, and old Testament study, James and one on the Lord's Prayer. It was awesome and such a growth point for me. I was learning so much and grew a lot. I got pregnant and had to check out of life for a little while and when I started feeling better I was kind of trying to figure out what I was to do and where I was spiritually. I needed accountability and meeting together with a friend once a week worked nice until we couldn't make it work anymore with our crazy schedules and well just the craziness of life. So what now....since having Molly and spending more time with John during paternity leave and in general now that he is off during the days, I have an overwhelming desire and calling to just pray!! Not to say that I should not be growing in the word and reading God's word...actually most of the time when I am praying, I simply pray aloud scripture. I think John working nights (giving me more time alone at night and time to contemplate), my concern for his safety and the pressures that life brings forth in having a wife, three kids, a mortgage, a leadership position at work etc has brought me to my knees and makes me want to pray for John constantly. All around us couples are having difficulty in their marriages, society and the "world" seem to grow more anti-God,TV and Internet crowd our minds with impure thoughts, and it is just plain scary to me.....all I can do is pray! I have never been a prayer warrior. Praying is something that I actually have found hard to do. Maybe it is my lack of faith or my flight of thought. I mostly think it is my lack of faith in that I don't expect or anticipate God to be shown or expect that he will hear me. I instead worry, doubt, and have fear over things and situations. I have had such an overwhelming desire to pray for John that I got out my "Power of a Praying Wife". I pray out of it daily, using it as a guide. It has been so beneficial and has alleviated some worry. I am still working on truly handing all that over to God! I am telling you, immediately God answered one of my prayers...it was a small, very specific prayer and it was answered very specifically just the same. John experienced it too! I will continue to lift John up in prayer and have added to that some very specific prayers over my children as well. I think that is my purpose right now...to be a prayerful woman praying over those that I love the most! God is showing me that nothing is more powerful!